I don’t typically wear costumes for Halloween these days, but there was a time when I did. Below is a picture of what is probably the very last costume I ever wore. A little backstory: this was the year when Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake was released, and I was sorely pissed. And the thing that pissed me off the most was how Zombie handled the Dr. Loomis character, who was played by Donald Pleasence in the 1978 original. Loomis was played by Malcolm McDowell in the remake, and McDowell is a brilliant actor, but even Sir Lawrence Olivier would have buckled under Zombie’s inept direction. I will never, never, NEVER accept Dr. Loomis as a self-serving media whore who just wants to make money off of Michael Myers with all his lurid “true crime” books. The REAL Dr. Loomis is an elderly badass who is always the first to risk his life and his career to rescue people. Well, I was so personally offended by Rob Zombie’s version of the character that I decided to be Dr. Loomis for Halloween that year, so that the memory of Donald Pleasence could be given some proper respect.
(If it seems strange that I care so much about this particular issue, I’d just like to point out that if someone made a new Star Trek movie in which Captain Kirk were some kind of serial killer, we’d never hear the end of it.)
Well it turns out that in the neighborhood I was living in at the time, there was a family with a 7-year old son, whom the parents decided to dress as Michael Myers as a way of honoring the original movie. So when they took their boy ’round the neighborhood for trick-or-treating that evening, they were surprised to find none other than Dr. Loomis waiting for them at the end of the street. And instead of shooting young Michael six times point blank in the chest, I just gave him two generous handfuls of candy. Then we posed for this awesome photograph:
I just want to point out that I am SUCH a fanatic when it comes to these dang movies, I actually shaved my head for this costume. Turned out pretty good, too, even if I do say so myself!
In just two more days, a fine-looking sequel to the greatest film ever made will finally be released in theaters. I’m referring to David Gordon Green’s Halloween (2018), which is a direct sequel to the 1978 original film by John Carpenter. For those who know little about the Halloween franchise, the entire series is basically like a gigantic “Choose Your Own Adventure” story, with various alternate timelines that fans can pick and choose from according to their own tastes. Let me list them out for you:
Timeline 1:Halloween (1978), Halloween II (1981), Halloween 4 (1988), Halloween 5 (1989), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
Timeline 2:Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Timeline 4: Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007), Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (2009)
This new film will mark the beginning of a brand new timeline, one that includes only the original Halloween from 1978 and the new Halloween from 2018. Perhaps the most exciting thing about this new movie is that it will erase a problem that has haunted the series since Halloween II was first released in 1981. In that first sequel, it was established that Michael Myers and Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis’ character) are actually brother and sister. This totally changed the entire dynamic between these two characters from the first film, in which they are essentially strangers that just happen to cross each other’s paths. Ever since Halloween II, the movies in this series have had Myers stalking after his own family members for reasons that would only grow more and more bizarre over time (as in The Curse of Michael Myers, where it’s revealed that Michael’s family members are intended to be “sacrifices” for a cult of weirdo mad scientists—and no, I’m not making that up). But in David Gordon Green’s Halloween (2018), the events of Halloween II will have never occurred, and the entire family angle is being erased. Now Michael Myers and Laurie Strode are back to being the totally unrelated characters they were always meant to be, and Michael is back to choosing his victims completely randomly (which has always been a scarier idea for me personally).
I’m also pretty psyched that in this film, Laurie Strode will be the new Dr. Loomis. One thing that has always set the Halloween movies apart from other franchises like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th is that they have recurring heroes as well as a recurring villain. Dr. Loomis was always my favorite character in the original series; I love how he is the Professor Van Helsing to Michael’s Dracula, always selflessly risking his life and his reputation to save the good people of Haddonfield. The series really lost something when Donald Pleasence passed away in 1995, as there hasn’t been a Halloween film with a proper “Loomis” ever since. (I’m not counting those god-awful Rob Zombie movies, because Malcolm McDowell’s version of Loomis is anything but a hero.) Anyway, Laurie Strode is just about the only other character in the entire franchise who can possibly fill Doc Loomis’ shoes, and I’m pretty damn excited to see an elderly Jamie Lee Curtis kicking ass and taking names.
(I’d also like to point out that this new Halloween has been approved and is being produced by none other than John Carpenter himself, who is also composing the soundtrack. This will be Carpenter’s first direct involvement with the series he created since 1982’s Halloween III, which is a pretty huge deal for hardcore Carpenter fans.)
Well you can all be sure that I will share my thoughts on this new film once I’ve seen it four or five times (probably in the same weekend) and had a chance to digest it. Here’s hoping it turns out to be the greatest movie since the original Halloween from 1978.
On Halloween night, 1963, 6-year-old Michael Myers sneaks into his own house, grabs a knife, and stabs his older sister to death. Then he’s put into a minimum security mental hospital, where he’s treated by Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence). Loomis tries to help the little boy—who’s now a diagnosed catatonic—for eight years; then he spends another seven trying to put the kid in maximum security. He tells his colleagues that Michael’s the most dangerous patient he’s ever observed, but they laugh him off. “He’s just a catatonic,” they say, shaking their heads. But Loomis knows something they don’t know, something he can’t really explain. Modern psychiatry just doesn’t have the language to describe what Michael really is, and when Loomis tries, he sounds totally crackers. But he’s proven right 15 years later, when a full-grown Michael suddenly gets a hair up his ass and makes a jailbreak on Halloween Eve.
A beautiful new sphinx from the Ptolemaic era (circa 305–30 BCE) has (accidentally) been discovered in Kom Ombo, Egypt. Most people today are aware that the sphinx is a popular Egyptian symbol, but not as many can say what it means. First, it’s important to distinguish between Greek and Egyptian sphinxes. Greek sphinxes are depicted as female monsters that go around telling riddles and eating those who can’t answer them. Egyptian sphinxes, on the other hand, are generally male and benevolent, guarding temples and tombs. I should also point out that the Egyptians did not refer to their sphinxes as such, since this word is not Egyptian but Greek. The most famous Egyptian sphinx, the Great Sphinx of Giza, was actually called Hor-Em-Akhet (“Horus of the Horizon”) in New Kingdom times (circa 1550–1077 BCE).
The final resting place of Mehu, an Egyptian official who lived during the time of King Teti in the 6th dynasty (circa 2345–2333 BCE), has now been opened to the public. It has been undergoing restoration work ever since it was originally discovered by Dr. Zaki Saad in 1940. Now it can be enjoyed by anyone who travels to Egypt, not just archaeologists. May the soul of Mehu rejoice in his newfound fame and glory!
Yes, I am still alive. My apologies if anyone has been worried. The last month of my life has been very busy; my maternal grandmother passed away, I contracted the Captain Tripps superflu, and we lost a co-worker at my office. I just haven’t had enough time to preach lately. But don’t you worry; I’ll be back on my soapbox in no time, especially now that the Samhain season has officially begun. Praise Set, and stay tuned for further updates!
Wow—just when I thought there was nothing else Trump supporters could do to surprise me. You know, if you really want to protest something, it usually works better if you DON’T give the company you’re protesting any money. Refusing to buy the company’s products is how most people usually do it. But if you buy the company’s products and then destroy them on camera for all to see, you are accomplishing nothing. The company still gets its money, you have still made a purchase, and you have destroyed your own property to boot. The only person who loses in this situation is the “protester,” who is actually still behaving as a faithful customer.
Additionally, there is no reason for these people to be protesting Nike in the first place. Colin Kaepernick’s actions have nothing to do with veterans, the Armed Forces, or even President Trump. The entire purpose of taking a knee during football games was to raise awareness about police brutality against black Americans, which was already an issue long before the current White House Administration came into play. Kneeling before the flag doesn’t even qualify as a “disrespectful” gesture in my book. If Kaepernick had wiped his ass with an American flag on the field for everyone to see, that would have been one thing; but historically, kneeling has always been considered a gesture of respect (like when knights kneel before their queens). Hell, I often kneel before Set when I invoke Him during formal rituals, so I fail to see the problem here.