You got that fuckin’ right!
Last night, Patrick and I enacted a Destruction of the Evil Worm ceremony. We don’t usually meet for rituals on Monday nights, but a lot of weird things happened this past weekend that made a formal execration seem necessary.
First, Patrick has broken up with his girlfriend of four years and is still in the process of moving out from the apartment they’ve been sharing for what seems like ages. In light of this, he’s been in an understandably lousy state of mind. Second, I spent all day Saturday feeling angry for no sensible reason, and it was physically exhausting. I knew at the time that I didn’t have any reason to feel this angry, but I couldn’t stop feeling that way for a while and I just stewed in my own juices for most of the day. Third, Tony went through a very similar emotional conundrum on Sunday (though his was more of a depression and anxiety attack, rather than anger), and the same thing happened with his heavy metal band mates and some of their other male friends.
Then, late Saturday night, my wife and I were horrified to notice a teenage kid walking around our neighborhood with a rifle, standing in front of our neighbor’s house and staring at it like a zombie. When the kid noticed us looking at him, he ran off into the darkness and I called the cops. So far as I know, nothing came of it, so my wife and I are still a little on edge about the whole thing. (We also told our neighbors what happened, so they could be on their guard.)
And let’s not forget the beheading of James Foley by the Islamic State. Yeah, it just seems like men all over the world have been going crazy for the past several days (some in more dangerous ways in others). It makes me wonder if something isn’t going on with the stars, playing with our testosterone levels and turning us into raving lunatics or something.
(Speaking of which, I might mention that I refuse to call the Islamic State “ISIS,” which is the acronym our Western media has been using almost consistently. I refuse to use this name for the terrorist group because it’s blasphemous against the Goddess Isis, who deserves far more respect than to be lumped together with a bunch of flea-ridden jihadists. It offends me to no end that our Western media doesn’t give a shit about this. If a terrorist group decided to call itself “JESUS,” would Christians be okay with that? No, I don’t think so.)
Anyway, Patrick and I talked to each other yesterday and agreed that, given these crazy circumstances, it seemed necessary to conduct an execration. So as the Sun went down last night, we performed the ceremony and invoked Big Red’s aid in kicking the Backward Face right out of our hearts and souls. When we made our paper snakes for the ritual, we included the Islamic State as well as our own dark emotions in the list of things we sought to banish.
To be honest, I didn’t think the rite would go so well, because I was feeling sick from the humidity outside and all I ever want to do on Monday nights is sit on my couch and watch TV. I didn’t exactly feel like summoning the thunderous energy of Seth and using it to cast out our personal demons, for this requires quite a bit more emotional stamina than I felt was available to me at the time. But once we began the procedure, we fell into the groove almost immediately; it was almost like we were possessed. Our paper snakes put up a struggle, refusing to stay aflame when we burned them in the late summer twilight; and yet we prevailed, and
Apophis was put back into its wretched place. Then we offered a beer to Seth (a Shock-Top pumpkin wheat beer) and settled down to one of the stupidest film adaptations of an H. P. Lovecraft movie I’ve ever seen.
All in all, it was a pretty good evening, and we both feel a whole lot better now. Why, I even woke up this morning without a single groan or complaint. Usually I hate getting up and feel really tense in the morning as I prepare for work, but today I was like, “La-dee-dah, all is well.” Well, we’ll see if this new attitude keeps up; but for now at least, it seems that Big Red’s helped us to claim yet another victory against Ol’ Doubly-Ugly, just as He always does.