In The Desert Of Seth

By G. B. Marian

Days 1 – 3 of Miew Khem 2015

Despite the fact that we didn’t get to do a ceremonial ritual, we had a lot of fun this Friday the 13th, and the holy month of Miew Khem has really gotten off to a great start. I wasn’t feeling that well on Friday, so when I got home from work I took about a two-hour nap. Then Patrick came over later that evening; he also wasn’t feeling that great, but a quick phone call from Tony managed to cheer us up. (Just in case this is confusing to anyone, Patrick and I both live up here in the same Michigan town, but Tony lives in Texas. So the three of us don’t get to meet for worship that often anymore, but we still talk to each other frequently and include each other in our prayers.) After chatting it up with Tony, Patrick and I went out to dinner. I had me a Philadelphia-style cheesesteak at Jersey Mike’s, and it was probably the best one I’ve had since I was actually living in Philadelphia in the 1990s. While eating, we discussed this year’s Miew Khem and all the various transformations we are currently and/or will soon be experiencing. It was a good talk.

Then we went back to my house. We pulled out my statue of Seth-Typhon and my wife’s statue of Ishtar, and we lit some red candles for Them. We humbly invited the Red Lord and the Scarlet Woman into my home. Patrick and I took turns thanking Seth for all the various blessings He’s bestowed upon us lately – and, in light of it being Friday the 13th, we made sure to thank Him for the trials and tribulations He’s given us too. This was a very heartfelt moment, and it was soon followed by prayers for many of our loved ones. After we had finished with this, I took a few extra moments to say some words to Ishtar, thanking Her again for helping to bring me and my wife together and helping us make our marriage continue to work through thick and thin. As soon as I started talking to Her, our cat Ripley went nuts and started chasing her own shadow around the room. It made it seem like Ishtar was actually in the room with us and playing with the cat.

Then Patrick and I explained to Seth that, what with work and the severely cold weather we’ve been having this winter, we didn’t feel energetic enough to conduct a dramatic ritual; all we really wanted to do was watch TV and make fun of some B-grade horror flicks. We actually haven’t had one of our “proper” Sabbath meetings for a while now; we’ve still been hanging out on Friday nights and lighting red candles for the Lord, but we haven’t been following our normal routine of analyzing deep spiritual questions together for three hours. Mostly we’ve just been socializing in Typhon’s presence, and the Big Guy has never indicated that He’s displeased with us for this; He certainly didn’t have anything bad to say about it this time. We invited both Him and Ishtar to join us in watching 1984’s Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (which is anything but “The Final Chapter” of the series) and 1985’s Friday the 13th: A New Beginning. I’m not sure if Ishtar took us up on this particular offering, but Big Red was definitely in the room with us as we hooted and hollered at the TV together. (I imagine my wife must have been rolling her eyes while she was in the other room.)

This is what happens when Jason Voorhees becomes a Jehovah’s Witness.

There are times when I feel like we need to get back into doing full-blown rituals together on a regular basis, but I think this really says more about me than it does about what Seth actually wants from us (or even what LV-426 is supposed to be doing). Patrick and Tony have both said before that they don’t think Seth really takes Himself that seriously and that He expects us to be loose and have a good time when we engage with Him. Sometimes I need my brothers to remind me that at the end of the day, our cultus isn’t about scaling the Tree of Life, becoming “Operating Thetans” or taking over the world; it’s about hanging out with our God and treating each other like family. Our “proper” Sabbath meetings and execration rituals are very magical (and we’ve agreed that we should conduct an execration before Miew Khem ends). But I think the real magic – for us, anyway – is just in our relationships with each other and our Lord. How many other faiths are there in which the “correct practice” is to give your God a beer and make terrible jokes while watching horror movies in His almighty presence? (Not too many, that’s for damn sure!)

I’ve also been getting up every morning at 5:00 a.m. since last Wednesday. This is because I’ll be required to report for work at my new job at 8:00 a.m. sharp, and since I can’t drive, I have to take the bus. This means I have to catch the 7:00 bus by my house, which means I have to be up by 6:30 at the very latest. However, for reasons I consider too vulgar to explain, I have to have at least an hour to prepare myself for my day before leaving my house. Hence why both of my alarm clocks (I have two of them) are now set to 5:00 a.m. (with a preliminary alarm set at 4:30 and 4:45 to start waking my ass up). I really don’t have to start getting up at 5 until next week, but it occurred to me that I’d better start acclimating myself to that time of the morning now if I don’t want to look, sound and act just like Frankenstein’s monster at the office. I have so much trouble with this because I’m really not a morning person at all; I’m a night owl by nature and would probably stay up every night until 4 a.m. if the outside world would let me. As it stands, making myself go to bed at 11:00 p.m. is difficult enough. But aside from some sleep deprivation and a couple of headaches, this Friday the 13th weekend was great. Here’s looking forward to the rest of Miew Khem 2015!

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