In The Desert Of Seth

By G. B. Marian

If Hillary Clinton is a Satanist, Anton LaVey Must Have Been a Methodist

I realize I’m late to the “party,” but imagine my surprise when I discovered a string of posts yesterday alleging that Hillary Clinton is a “Satanist” and that she ritually consumes cocktails made of breast milk, menstrual blood, and urine as part of a practice called “spirit cooking.” I’ll tell you one thing: I wasn’t surprised at all to find that most of the people making these allegations were citing Infowars.com as their primary source. For those of you who don’t already know, Infowars.com is the official website of Alex Jones, who used to be perversely entertaining when I first heard of him back in the 1990s, but who’s become absolutely intolerable during this current election cycle.

Knights in Setheus, preserve us!

First, I’m pretty sure Hillary Clinton isn’t a Satanist. It’s impossible to be certain of what anybody really believes inside their own head, of course; but I’ve been cruising the scene for a while now, and I’ve never known a practicing Satanist who couldn’t resist sharing their opinions somehow, whether this involves writing on a website under some kind of pseudonym, or going around in public wearing a big honkin’ Sigil of Baphomet on their sleeves (proverbially speaking, in some cases). And honestly, why shouldn’t they? Everybody else gets to be outspoken about their beliefs. With that in mind, I’m pretty damn sure that if Clinton were a Satanist, hard evidence for this would have been uncovered years ago. A sudden rash of blood libel that happens just a few days before Election Day is not very convincing, to say the least.

I might also point out that most Satanists I’ve known are situated somewhere on the libertarian side of the political right. There are definitely some exceptions to this, such as the Satanic Temple (which is socially progressive); but Satanism is still pretty Social Darwinist for the most part, and I have trouble imagining a rich Satanist politician who would willingly promote a bunch of socialist policies (e.g., raising taxes for the rich and investing that money into social programs, etc.) like Clinton does. It’s not absolutely impossible, but I do think it’s damned unlikely (no pun intended). In fact, most of the Satanists I’ve ever known here in the United States tend to vote for the Libertarian Party.

Second, the “spirit cooking” thing is not an actual Satanic ritual. It’s an art project created by an artist named Marina Abramovic. She’s apparently an acquaintance of Tony Podesta, who is the brother of John Podesta, Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager. Tony Podesta sent an email to his brother inviting him to attend a “spirit cooking” party that Abramovic was hosting sometime last year, but John Podesta declined to attend. As for Hillary, she was never an actual recipient in this email chain. So of course, total idiots took all of this to signify that Clinton is digesting female bodily fluids to appease Satan for some reason. (It’s amazing what you can learn from reading a fact-checker website like Snopes.com, isn’t it?)

You know, Ronald Reagan was once in a movie called Bedtime For Bonzo (1951), which was about a chimpanzee. Do you suppose this means that ol’ Ronnie liked to fuck apes? Because that’s pretty much the exact same “logic” that’s being used here. Hell, the “spirit cooking” claim is even less “logical” when you stop to think about it, since Hillary Clinton has never even gone to one of Abramovic’s parties. At least Reagan actually appeared in a movie with a chimp!

Ronnie Reagan in bed with a chimpanzee AND a woman...For shame!!

Ronnie Reagan in bed with a chimpanzee AND a woman…For shame!!

Lastly, Infowars.com is not a reliable resource for anything, and that goes double for information. Alex Jones is a carnival barker at best and a total psychopath at worst. I’d say that reading his bullshit is like reading the Weekly World News, but that would be an insult to the Weekly World News. Lurid as it may be, that publication is clearly for entertainment purposes only. The whole point to Jones’ racket, however, is to convince people that the insane shit he says is 100% real. And because he’s moderately clever, he inserts little tidbits of truth between his lies. This is just in case any of his fans actually think to fact check any of his claims. They’ll be able to corroborate one or two of them, and then they’ll stop because they’ll think they’ve “seen enough.” Then they’ll accept the rest of his banter as gospel. This is the exact same way that con artists and televangelists manipulate people. If you read or listen to Alex Jones and you believe the insane conclusions that he draws, well I’m sorry, but there’s just no other way to say it: you’re fucking stupid, and I really wish you wouldn’t reproduce!

Even if Hillary Clinton really were a breast-milk guzzlin’ Satanist, I’d still prefer to have her in the Oval Office over Donald Trump. There’s nothing wrong with exercising your freedom of religion or eating a weird diet; as a matter of fact, both of those things are quite American. Unfortunately, the same is true of systemic misogyny, xenophobia, and threatening your political opponents on national television. Given a choice between Clinton’s America and Trump’s, I still say Clinton’s is the sweeter deal.

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15 responses to “If Hillary Clinton is a Satanist, Anton LaVey Must Have Been a Methodist

  1. Erica Mary Eleanor November 6, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    And breast milk is tasty 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Redfaery November 6, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    *stands and applauds*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aleph November 6, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Honestly, if all Hillary were was an actual Satanist, there’d be pretty much no issue at least in my eyes, other than I suppose her Satanism becoming a political platform. I really don’t care for any belief system being a political platform for the same reason I despise gender and race being treated as acceptable criteria for judging the quality of any political candidate.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Rev. Dragon's Eye November 6, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    I tend to think that truly dedicated Satanists would laugh at the thought!

    What pisses me off:

    Some of the “alternative media” keep pushing the meme that, “If it is not Christian-based, it is evil!”

    I’m sorry but,

    “Christianity”, Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, and all those other “modern”, religious “isms” are NOT the native spirituality of the Northern Men! The more I have learned of the REAL history of these “established religions”, and their pushers, the more enraged I get when thinking about the constant drumbeat of what is or is NOT “holy”. Emperor Constantine, Charlemagne, et al where vicious, brutal (mass) murderers! – That, in and of itself, further shames their “religiosity”, and their religious systems.

    Absolutely NO God(s) and/or Goddess(es) of mine where ever used as excuses to rape, plunder, and outright destroy any other culture, nation, or peoples, because they would NOT have condoned any of it!

    Plus,

    A quick view of the world (and some of its history) would show, quite clearly, that “secular” governments (IE: governments without any specific religious preferences), tend to be the most free and liberated. Hussain’s Iraq, Gaddafi’s Libya, Assad’s Syria, are some good examples. (Yes, they ARE, indeed, secular governments, even though their leaders have a personal religious belief.) The same needs to return to these united states; This being the reason that religious “tests” as prerequisite to government service, were soundly-ruled unconstitutional!

    “Hillary” dishonors any truthful religious or spiritual culture.

    Like

    • Rev. Dragon's Eye November 6, 2016 at 4:54 pm

      Oops!

      As for Iraq, Libya, Egypt: Operative word should have been “WERE”, not “ARE”.

      Like

      • G. B. Marian November 8, 2016 at 5:54 pm

        Point taken. However, even in the past tense, those examples aren’t the best.

        Like

      • Rev. Dragon's Eye November 9, 2016 at 5:16 pm

        They are, when we view past the pinhole lenses of the world media, and see the WHO that were behind the political manipulations in the first place.

        These “wars” have all served but ONE purpose: Extending the reach and control over those peoples by the internationalist-system. Nothing more, nothing less. Neither WE, nor ANY other foreign nation or land have any authority to determine for a foreign land WHO their own people shall have as their governing people. The “Nation-State” is not dead as an idea, it is the internationalist-system, and its “demands” that needs be put to pasture. When this is done, the world will truly see peace and harmony, once again.

        This whole foreign-manipulation idea, is as old as the establishment church, the monolithic “state” as supreme sovereignty, and any “ordained” kings, queens, and other potentiates who have been placed into power and authority, directly opposed to the good of the People.

        I stand firmly by those examples, as a careful observer of the events as they unfolded, then.

        Like

      • G. B. Marian November 9, 2016 at 7:07 pm

        With all due respect: “Careful observer,” my ass! Were you paying attention when Saddam Hussein committed genocide against the Kurds? Do you really want to characterize a genocidal totalitarian government as “liberated”? I was against the Iraq War from start to finish (both the real finish and the “Mission Accomplished” one), but you can’t deny that Hussein was a fucking madman.

        It is true that many Middle Eastern countries like Iran were once secular and “liberal,” but only when they were still occupied by the British and other Europeans. Part of the reason Islamic jihadism is such a powerful force in that area of the world today is because it provided so much motivation for the rebels who eventually overturned such regimes as that of the Shahs. Then they replaced their secular governments with Sharia law, and look what happened. I’m as much against imperialism as anyone, but those countries were already controlled by international forces long before Hussein came along. Hell, the U.S. put Hussein in charge of Iraq in the first place! So I repeat: the examples you gave above are complete bullshit.

        And just in case you want to try playing the “Careful Observer” card with me again, I’ll point out that I work in academic research and writing for a living. I may not have a degree, but I know how to distinguish good research from shitty research. And if you’d like to consult my sources for any of the claims above, you can start by consulting those listed in Religious Fundamentalism in the Middle East: A Cross-National, Inter-Faith, and Inter-Ethnic Analysis by Mansoor Moaddel and Stuart A. Karabenick (Brill, 2013). Otherwise, it’s been nice talking to you, but I’ve got better things to do.

        Liked by 1 person

    • G. B. Marian November 8, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      I agree with much of your frustration over contemporary Western media depicting non-Abrahamic religions as “evil.” I also agree that those faiths are indeed to blame for making this particular situation the way that it is. However, I don’t believe you are justified in turning it around and characterizing the Abrahamic religions as being “evil,” either. True evil is an equal opportunity employer and it can tear its ugly head pretty much anywhere (even in Paganism, when we aren’t careful).

      I highly doubt that the God of Abraham is really quite as bloodthirsty as some of his prophets and spokespeople have let on. There is also plenty evidence of Pagan Deities killing and raping and committing genocide throughout Their various mythologies, as well. I don’t think there’s any more reason to think that Allah really wants people to fly airplanes into skyscrapers than there is to think that Zeus really rapes every mortal woman who tickles His fancy. If one turns a devil into a God and a God into a devil, one is still thinking and behaving as a simple-minded dualist.

      I don’t understand how your point about “the Northern Men” is relevant to this discussion, and I certainly wouldn’t point to Iraq, Libya, or Syria as “good” examples of how secular government is better for people. (I agree wholeheartedly that it usually is, but any ruler can tyrannize their people, whether they do it in a Deity’s name or not.) I also can’t comprehend your final statement against Hillary Clinton. As a deeply religious person myself, I have absolutely zero interest in whether she “honors any true religious or spiritual tradition” or not. She could be an atheist or even a Scientologist for all I care. My only concern is that she is literally the only viable candidate who is qualified to run this country for the next four to eight years. Does she reflect all of my personal values? No, but I don’t expect any politician to do so. To expect otherwise is impractical and, frankly, stupid.

      Like

      • Rev. Dragon's Eye November 9, 2016 at 5:28 pm

        I firmly stand by what I have said.

        I did not say that the “religions” themselves were wholly evil. I said that those who created them, and pushed them upon the populace (especially through their doctrines and dogmas) are largely to blame, as well as the more-fervent of the fundamentalist followers.

        “Hillary” is NOT a “viable candidate” by any stretch of the imagination. She, and her husband and various associates, are CAREER CRIMINALS, and consistently get away with the most horrendous crimes – BECAUSE the system, in which we live, is corrupted and run by criminals of like and kind. I have been around this bend far too many times, and seen far too much, to ever possibly see these people as “honorable”, “fit”, and “viable” to stand for the public trust. They are NOT to be trusted with such gained power.

        – “So go ahead, and hate on me now, and get it over with!”

        It is because of people, Like Hillary, that has made it so difficult to accomplish anything towards the promised “American Dream”. These folks have become so disconnected with the plight of the ordinary people (HER admission, by the way).

        A “vote” for Hillary, is a vote to destroy what is left of what was once a strong, prosperous, hopeful Nation. Truly, have YOUR taxes and “mandated” fees gone down anytime soon? – I know mine have not, but our costs to live on even less have gone up.

        I’m sorry but,

        It is time to reevaluate what our true reality is to be! The current course this country has been going, will eventually end up becoming a forgotten history, just as our “nation” will eventually be. “Socialism” only works, so long as there is still other peoples’ money to fund it. When that runs out, how do you continue to fund “socialism”???

        Like

      • G. B. Marian November 9, 2016 at 7:06 pm

        You very clearly lumped the religions, their God(s), their founders, and the people who have used them for political advantage all together into one box, which you also very clearly designated as “evil.” Then you very clearly denied that your own Gods have ever been used as excuses for violence, rape, or indeed any kind of evil in general. Perhaps that is true – I don’t remember the specific Gods to whom you pray, and I don’t really care who They are at this point – but your rhetoric very clearly comes across as that of someone whose understanding of these matters is monumentally naive (not to mention revisionist).

        As for your opinions on Hillary, I’ve heard everything you’ve said here before, and I’ve heard it all from Alex Jones. That alone tells me all I need to know. People like you have already won the election – whether you personally voted for Trump or not – so there’s no point in continuing this line of discussion as far as I can see. But if you think for one second that Trump’s going to make things any better for our economy, I can’t wait to hear you bitch and moan about it four to eight years from now. For the record, it’s pretty much an established rule of economic science that when you cut taxes for the rich, the middle class always suffers. And when the middle class suffers, the entire nation goes bankrupt. No room for debate on that one, friend; it’s been proven time and time again, and it will be proven again quite soon. You’ll see.

        You know, I may have to accept the fact that Donald Trump will be our next President, and I may have to put up with hearing tons of stupid shit from people like you for the next half a decade at least. But I don’t have to tolerate any of that garbage here on my own blog. So I’m putting a stop to this discussion now; thank you for all of your comments, but no thanks. Since I am only drawing the line now (as opposed to when I first made this post over the weekend), I think it’s only fair to keep all of the comments you’ve posted up to now. I will keep them up in the spirit of fairness. But from this point forward, I am simply going to delete anything I see from you that I don’t like. Welcome to my personal watchlist.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. jennydevildoll November 6, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Apparently Abramovic’s Spirit Cooking performances also involve some variation on Crowley’s Cakes of Light, who, naturally Alex Jones cites as a “Satanist” While blood and semen are in the recipe (along with honey, oil, and other less titillating ingredients) urine and breast milk aren’t.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. theherdlesswitch November 9, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    hehe this made me smile, nice to see someone talking common sense. People get so bent out of shape, and really, really believe this shit. They’re like children….

    Meno<3

    Liked by 1 person

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